*sings*

Yo ho! Yo ho! A pirate's life for me...

*hits play on DMC yet again*

What can I say? My husband is the sexiest thing on the planet.... although the wee pirate isn't necessarily hard on the eyes, is he? What is it about pirates, anyway? I mean other than the breeches, the leather, and of course the swords... Anyone else out there have a thing for pirates?

He pushes open the door to the house that was supposed to be the home he shared with a certain brown-eyed angel and felt the weight of long absences, too much silence, and almost unreal levels of fatigue settle. The place was empty. Which wasn't really a surprise, since he'd been doing his promotional tour for the Alatriste premieres in Europe and Orlando was shuttling between god only knows what projects. Pirates? Again? He rubbed his eyes--thinking briefly that his birthday had come and gone while he was travelling and that it hadn't really hit him just how tired and old he felt these days. Everyone said he looked great these days--great meaning younger than his age--but he wasn't sure he always felt great. Missing Orlando didn't help with that.

Kicking his off his shoes, he threw his bags to the side--since unpacking was pointless and there was more travel on the horizon. Then he grabbed a bottle of Jack from the bar and settled on the overstuffed sofa. He started dialing numbers, every number he had for Orlando. Each time he got put through to voicemail he left the same message:

Hey. It's me. I'm at the house right now. I have a few days and the only thing I want to think about doing is figuring out where you are and spending every minute I can with you. I'm so sorry angel... Call me. Tell me when and where and I'll be there. I love you...

When he had dialed the last number and left the last message he sank into the cushions and sat quietly in the dark room drinking slowly, right from the bottle. He wasn't going to think about the next movie. Or the next three movies. He wasn't going to worry about the new book and whether or not he ought to be doing publicity for that as well. He was just going to sit there and wait for Orlando to call.

Back from...well, wherever the fuck I was. Japan for a few days. Then NZ and Australia... it was all too quick. Which is sad since I love NZ...

The problem is...I'm back and I can't figure out where my elf is. I mean elf and ELF. I have no idea where my lovely husband-turned-elf-prince is... he's not at the house. Not answering at his place. I hope he's--they're--okay.

*drains a large glass of Jameson's. gives up on the glass and takes up the bottle*


Let's take stock, shall we? *gestures sloppily* My husband, who has been busy playing a pirate for so long that I fully expect him to ask me to wear a corset and crinolines when he finally gets to come home, has turned into an elf. Not just an elf...but an elven prince. He's turned into Legolas... which you know, as far as elves go is pretty fucking cool... I mean, I'll admit I've had more than my fair share of fantasies about that blond-haired, blue-eyed beauty... But, hey! I'm MARRIED to Orlando. It's all very disturbing in a kinky kind of way!

And Orli's not the only one who's not himself... Merry, I mean Dom, is running around worried about orcs. I have no idea whether Elijah is still Elijah or whether the ringbearer is wandering around LA looking for Mt. Doom...

*drinks some more and goes off to dig Anduril out of the closet muttering something about "if you can't beat them..."*

I promised Orli that I'd go visit for a long weekend...I figure Valentine's Day is the right time to make the trip to see my lovely husband. I've been trying his cell phone and haven't gotten any reply--which means he's either, what's the British phrase-- totally knackered? Or he's lost the damn phone somewhere...

Anyway, I'm waiting for my husband to get back from wherever it is he's hiding--I've been waiting her for a while and thought he'd be back by now...As soon as he arrives its champagne and a dip in the hot-tub for us...

*paces the suite impatiently*

To shake my holiday blues I've decided to start planning for Christmas shopping. Had a great chat with The King yesterday and he got me to thinking about shopping. Well, he got me to thinking about what the wedding is going to be like and whether Orlando is going to go for Elvis-in-a-sparkly-Santa-suit as the officiator. But then we got to talking about gifts and Cadillacs. So why not begin to plan a Christmas list?

I wonder if anyone still drives Cadillacs...

*goes off to browse catalogues and attempt shop online, pulls out the "internet for dummies" book that Adam brought over to help navigate the various websites*

*starts humming "Blue Christmas" in what just might be considered an approximation of Elvis's patented husky-drawl*

If anyone has any particular requests for Christmas, let me know...

Holidays always seem to make me lean toward melancholy. Maybe its the influence of the broken-homes that litter my past. Too much food and too much noise don't seem to do much to fill up the voids. The lack. Not much to be done about it. Just wait for the season to pass.

This year there was the possibility of a wedding. But time passes and I wonder if it will happen. Orlando seems to be buried with work and now with the lawsuit--it seems to be getting to him and I don't really know what's going on behind those big brown eyes.

Well, I made to the end of Thanksgiving day. One down...just another um, month? to go...

*drags bags through the front door. kicks the door closed. collapses on the nearest piece of cushioned furniture, which happens to be the couch. in an exhausted stupor begins to make a list...*

1) shag be shagged by spend time with Orlando
2) call Alan and find out whether being in charge of Security and Diversions for the HUGE WAD campaign will require much travel. if so, demand a pay increase.
3) handcuff tie chain Orlando to the bed serve Orlando breakfast in bed on the first possible occasion
4) find out whether he's even getting paid for his work on HUGE WAD
5) send the wee pirate Candidate Depp fingerpaints and cookies. find out whether Captain Sparrow has any intention of finishing the half-complete masterpiece currently occupying one wall in the studio
6) destroy all cellphones, pagers, or other electronic devices that might constitute intrusions upon a much needed holiday
7) call the not-Hobbits and see how things are going
8)figure out what the hell is happening on Thanksgiving. consider covering Orlando in mashed potatoes and gravy and "giving Thanks" until exhaustiong sets in consider preparing traditional holiday foods.

*realizes that making a list while exhausted and sex-deprived might not be a good idea...and falls asleep on the sofa muttering what sounds like a recipe for pecan pie*

I'm not entirely sure that I understand the younger generation...

I really don't know what's going on with Lij and Dom ... I can't help but be a little worried about them, but I'll have to trust Dom when he says that they are being smart about all of this...

Meanwhile, I'm not entirely sure that Orlando and Estel have established who's in charge...at this point I think the kitten might be taking over... (at least as far as the dresser is concerned...)